Jar Jar, You're A Genius

Do you read Darths & Droids? Imagine DM of the Rings, Star Wars style, except that the game master in question isn't nearly as much of a jerk.

It's also responsible for the phrase, "Jar Jar, you're a genius," existing on the internet. It's hit #40 on Google trends on its own, through the efforts of spam bots, but --

I think we owe it to the world to sustain and propagate this insanity. So if you haven't done it yet, go to Google and search for "Jar Jar, you're a genius" (with the quotes). Mention the phenomenon in your blog and encourage other people to Google for the term. Make posters proclaiming Jar Jar's genius and stick them up all over town. (If anyone actually does this, send us photos and we'll show them off!)

Having a love of Star Wars, webcomics, this comic in particular, internet shenanigans, and hijinks in general, I agree.

(Internet shenanigans brought to you by Qwerty.)

EDIT: If you're here for the first time, welcome. Though it's not quite as crazy as the game in Darths & Droids, you might be interested in the space adventure game I'm currently running. I've also got a quick and dirty guide on how to start roleplaying, a few notes on putting together a megadungeon, something like a review of Fight On! and a few crazy ideas for Vampire chronicles. And I encourage you to check out the links on my sidebar: there's a whole lot of gaming goodness in the blogs mentioned under "More Words to Read."

Homework for Fun

Every so often I'll be carrying my roleplaying books around with me in public, either as reading material or because I'm working on an adventure or something. And, every so often, someone will ask me, "Are you doing homework?"

Which is, I suppose, understandable. I'm carrying around what a couple of textbooks. They're textbooks about dragons, but they're still textbooks. I'm reading charts, and taking notes, and doing calculations. I look like I'm doing homework.

But I tell them, "No, no, this is fun. This is Dungeons & Dragons."

Which isn't entirely true. It is homework. It's self-imposed homework, it's fun homework, but it's still homework.

It's a weird hobby.

Wizards Are Weird

Wizards are very odd kleptomaniacs. Even if this is 4e, and 4e wizards don't need material components to cast spells (off the top of my head, I don't know) they'll still have the ability to produce any number of odd, valueless, seemingly useless objects at the drop of a pointy hat.

Warlocks can't do this. Sorcerers might be able to. Mostly, though, it's something wizards do, because they're weird.

They're not born with power. They want it, but they don't have the sense to do the easy thing and cut a deal with some extradimensional being. (Clerics, I'm looking at you, too.) Whether from principles, morals, or fear, they work for their power.

But then, they're not usual in that, either. They're not like fighters, or rogues; not practice and discipline and skill. They spend all their time reading books. And thinking. And tinkering with the fundamentals of the universe.

All without wearing pants.

Truth in Advertising

Livejournal's "sponsored links," that it displays on the link-out to this blog, are as follows:

Sandbox
Fast Cars
Lasers
Elder Scrolls
Solar System
Dinosaurs

(You can see for yourself on my friend Maggie's LJ.)

I am amused.

Also, this blog would be better if it fit that topic list more closely.

What I Want to Play, In No Particular Order

• Eberron
• human dragonmarked artificer of House d'Cannith
• elven wizard from Aerenal
• a megadungeon
• fast cars and the idiots who drive them
• pirates!
• interplanetary sailing ships with that baroque/victorian feel, "aether" and the spinning models of the solar system and everything
• perhaps a captain of a ship like that
• or an aether surfer, something like Ray Tracer
  
• Tamriel (Elder Scrolls Setting)
• ancient desert ruins
• Promethean: The Created (though I'm a bit off White Wolf, at the moment, for non-game related reasons)
  
• Exalted (same caveat as above)
  
• dawn caste/other fight-y solar using those artifact throwing ring thingies
• freedom fighter against the corrupt dragon-whatever government
  
• maybe another solar type, or another exalt entirely, since I don't know much about the world
• Vampire (again, same caveat)
• Malkavian!
• or one of those annoyingly pretentious artist types
• Werewolf (yet again, same caveat) (also, assuming it's possible to play this as something other than "science is evil" eco-terrorists)
  
• Girl Genius
• kitchen sink post-apocalyptic: "wizards, dinosaurs, mutants & lasers"
• something like the setting of Jak 2, and the parts of 3 that weren't stupid
  
• something sandbox-y
• a halfling wizard, specializing in rays
  

What I Want to Run, In No Particular Order

• something sandbox-y
• a published module
• a megadungeon
• the party is a group of young, bored, reckless nobles who occupy themselves by causing trouble for their elders and their rivals
• kitchen sink post-apocalyptic: "wizards, dinosaurs, mutants & lasers"
• the new 4e default world
• Eberron
• something really dark ages
• fantasy Europe -- "Europa" or something of that nature
• pirates!
• old west
• ancient desert ruins
• steampunk
• interplanetary sailing ships with that baroque/victorian feel, "aether" and the spinning models of the solar system and everything
• everyone rides dinosaurs
• something like the setting in Jak 2, and the parts of 3 that weren't stupid
• Tamriel (Elder Scrolls setting)
• dragonriders for the Queen, who lives in an airship
• Expedition to the Moon!
• fast cars and the idiots who drive them
• magic fast cars and the idiots who drive them
• noble families based on hereditary wizardry
• 1st-20/30th: the players ascend to godhood and found an empire in the process
• that same world, 1000 years hence

Stuff I Found in Drafts

There are no stupid questions. Only questions that tend not to edification.

"Snakes are basically the funniest animals ever. Except maybe weasels. But weasels are basically just snakes with fur."

"I'd say he's about a 4.5, on a scale of 1 to Hitler."

Realism is over-rated.

Today, I wondered if I could kill myself with Metamucil.

Kung Pao Squid

Whack-a-Mole is a universal principle.

What's My Inner D&D Character?

After analyzing your answers with state-of-the-art medieval fantastic psychology profiling tools, Dungeon Mastering is confident that your inner D&D character is a Lawful Good Gnome Ranger!

That's . . . weirdly perfect.

My Hex Map Is Not Nearly Weird Enough

"This humble mountain republic was noted for its advanced art. It was destroyed by a neighboring country because of the people's extreme perversion, leaving behind only methods of transportation and political theories."

Brought to you by Seventh Sanctum's Lost Civilization Generator

This is going in the hex map. Don't know how. Don't know where. But it needs to be there, and it needs to be there soon.

I really like randomly generating content. I've been doing a lot of it lately, because I want this project to have a kind of wacky scope that I can't achieve independently.

So far I've mostly been using the aforementioned Seventh Sanctum, Slack'n'Hash, and a few of the charts in the Dungeon Masters Guide and the DMG II. Because I haven't yet gotten a copy of the 1st Edition Guide.

Anyone else have any favorite chart sources? Untapped mines of wonder of which I have not yet heard?

For the Love of Lex Luthor

I've picked up a new catch phrase.

FOOLS! I HAVE NO USE FOR YOUR PITIFUL CURRENCY! I WISH ONLY TO ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF . . .

SUPERMAN!


I just replace "currency" with whatever I'm talking about at the time, and hey! Instant comeback! So far "education" is my favorite.

I got it off this excellent website. I am all about the mad science.

Works Every Time

There is no situation that cannot be improved with the words, "GIANT SNAKE!"

That's it.

Call of the Weird

I want to run a game where the dungeons are really weird. Nonsensical, illogical, and happy to be that way.

I got the idea from Jeff Rients. I want to run a game where all the dungeons are like that.

Most of the dungeons I've made have made a certain amount of sense. I knew who the designers were, and a lot of the structure sprang from that. I knew why all the monsters were there. True, for one dungeon, that reason was "a wizard did it," but I knew enough about the NPC in question for it to make a certain amount of sense, at least to me.

Still. All the other dungeons I've made have been pretty straightforward. I'd like to run a game where they were, for the most part, intentionally irrational.

Praise Be To Kord

I want to start a new religion. One where you worship whatever you want, as long as it comes from a roleplaying game, video game, or similar source.

I'd call it "video game polytheism," except that'd rule out Vecna and Pelor and all that gang. And I'd call it "RPG polytheism," except that'd rule out Mar and whatnot.

It'd mostly be an excuse to go "By the nine!" in casual conversation. Not that I need one.

I spend too much time thinking up ways to make people think I'm weird.