Tuesday, July 27, 2010

What's Up With That Wedding Anyhow?

For those times when you go "You *finally* arrive in Small Town #3. After a bit of asking around, you find out that there's a sale on cheese, the sewers are infested with giant hungry weasels, and the locals are planning a wedding" and the players go "Sweet! We crash it!"

1. An important alliance between two nobles.

2. A secret marriage between two nobles, who's parents will be some degree of unhappy when they find out.

3. A secret marriage between a noble and a commoner. The noble's parents will be extremely displeased when they find out; the noble was supposed to marry someone important to end some war or another.

4. The bride is a werewolf!

5. The groom is a vampire!

6. Part of an important rite for a weird local fertility cult. The human sacrifice is purely metaphorical.

7. Part of an important rite for a weird local fertility cult. The human sacrifice is very much not metaphorical, and the bride and/or groom is it.

8. Part of an important rite for a weird local fertility cult. They still need a human sacrifice -- preferably one from outside the community.

9. The bride and/or groom is under the effect of a charm effect. It will wear off at the worst possible moment.

10. The bridge/groom has been, or is about to be, kidnapped by nixies/satyrs.

11. The bride/groom gets cold feet.

12. The bride/groom gets cold feet. S/he makes it look like s/he's been kidnapped by nixies/satyrs.

13. The bride/groom gets cold feet. S/he gets the other one kidnapped by nixies/satyrs.

14. The couple is already bickering constantly. It's starting to get on everyone's nerves.

15. The couple is madly in love, utterly normal, and deeply obnoxious.

16. The bride/groom is a doppelganger.

17. The bride *and* the groom are doppelgangers. Neither is aware that the other one is one.

18. The bridge/groom is a secretly a hideous monster! The wedding is all just a convenient pretext to get a large number of people in one room for convenient mid-rampage snacking.

19. The bride/groom is not whom s/he appears to be. S/he's actually an obsessive stalker, and has kidnapped the real bride/groom to take his/her place for the ceremony.

20. The couple has made a poor choice of flower arranger. Odds are good that the ceremony is attacked by angry sentient plants.


  1. Looks like fun

    I'd probably roll 3 or 4 times for each wedding

  2. Excellent!

    The only thing I'd is: "The bride/groom immediately falls madly in love with one of the characters..."

  3. Hah, I like #20. I have to agree with Kesher, and perhaps another one for "Objections start a riot."

  4. Yeah, falling madly in love with one of the PCs and so many people being ticked off about the wedding that it devolves into chaos would both be great. Honestly, I need to make this thing longer. Probably a lot longer. Break it out into sub-tables and things. Then it might not be so monster-heavy. :P And that'd make it easier to roll more than once, which is an idea of which I greatly approve.

  5. Do I sense an e-book on the way then?

  6. This looks like a d20 chart... but wouldn't it be better if this were a list of facts about a wedding? Like if *all* of the things on the list were true?

  7. Grey: Trollsmyth and I *have* been batting the idea of writing something "like the Book of Erotic Fantasy but old school and not dumb." Not so much with the prestige classes, more with the fertility magic, historical info, wenching tables, and random wedding disaster charts. But it'd have to wait for us to finish a couple of other projects first.

    Artemis: But then it wouldn't be *random.*

  8. Cool, queue it up! I understand the work project backlog, I think everyone has one to some extent or another sadly.