I just discovered something interesting. "Talk Like a Pirate Day" is, apparently, frightening to some people. Not that I've ever met anyone frightened by it, but I have, nevertheless, been informed that this is the case. Any event that involves it will, I have been told, necessarily be badly attended, on account of this phenomena.
This explains a lot about me. I have misinterpreted the normal fear response that the average human experiences when exposed to pirates as awesomeness. As a result, I've been scaring people off by my displaying the symbols and mannerisms of this most frightening of creatures. It will take years of counseling to retrain my shattered psyche, so that I can finally interact with people who are properly afeared of pirates.
Or, I suppose, I could revel in the SHEER TERROR I can invoke through the use of a simple pirate hat, which I, due to my unusual mental constitution, can tolerate.